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Getting Any? (1994) Getting Any? (1994)
Minna Yatteruka?
Takeshi KITANO
DANKAN
Shoji KOBAYASHI
Takeshi KITANO
Susumu TERAJIMA
Yuki TESUYA
76 mins.
Getting Any? (1994)

The reason why this film was never released outside Japan becomes apparent from the word go. This is a very odd entry in Kitano's filmography. Actually, "very odd" is a gross understatement. This is a bizarre, over the top, absurd and zany piece of slapstick silliness which will no doubt leave Western Kitano fans gasping for air and wondering what the hell got into their favourite director.

Actually, it's not such a strange choice for the person Takeshi Kitano. This film is probably closer in spirit to his comedy and television work than to his cinematic oeuvre and as such is a very welcome look into Kitano's personality.

The story, if one can call it a story, concerns nerdy Asao whose main goal in life is - as the title suggests - to get laid. And the only way to do so, he believes, is to have a flashy sports car to pull the girls with and have sex in. After trying out several snazzy convertibles for their capacities of housing copulating couples (in his underwear and using the salesman's female assistant as stand-in), it quickly becomes apparent Asao's limited budget will only allow him to buy the most un-appealing car in the showroom.

After a number of very unsuccessful attempts at picking up women (amounting to little more than stopping next to the nearest pretty girl and asking her: "Hey lady! Car sex?"), his vehicle is promptly crushed under the wheels of a passing truck. Without car or money, he decides to sell his grandfather's internal organs. When this doesn't gather sufficient funds to buy that elusive convertible, he tries to rob a bank. This too fails and Asao conludes that the only thing that excites girls more than a man with a flashy car is an actor. And so...

The above synopsis of the first thirty minutes doesn't even begin to cover the incredibly bizarre world of Getting Any?. It's full of digs at current affairs and Japanese society, and as such the Western viewer might not be able to fully grasp all the goings-on (something tells me the Japanese don't either - it's just too bizarre). However the film also serves up a healthy number of references to Japanese film icons like Zatoichi, Lone Wolf and Cub, giant monsters (Asao inevitably becomes one himself in the finale) and Jo Shishido, thus ending up a very enjoyable ride indeed for those with some knowledge of popular Japanese cinema.

Getting Any? may be very episodic and perhaps even pointless in the grand scheme of things, but for those willing to go for it, it's a hoot almost from start to finish.

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